That’s why I can’t see with my right eye
[Present]
She sits on her tattered couch watching the tv, with another girl way younger than her. The movie on the TV has clearly plunged the older woman into a great ordeal of discomfort.
Maybe I should tell her that the blood is fake and that the sound effects were probably generated from watermelons crashing against each other- the younger girl thinks.
The older lady, Judith, continues to jerk her body in synchrony with the sound from the surround system, sinking her body into the couch, all the while clenching her facial muscles like an infant being fed a spoonful of cough syrup.
The younger girl decides to ignore Judith’s hysterics as she always reacts this way to movies of a similar nature.
After a while, the movie ends and as the younger girl sits, slowly getting hypnotized by the credits that run across the TV-screen, Judith disrupts the silence.
“What do you think you would do in a situation like that?”, she asks.
The younger girl shakes her head and chuckles, “I think I would just freeze”.
Judith: “You think you would just freeze…” she says lifelessly, and in contemplation.
<la commencement
[About 30 years ago]
Judith is stuffing her belongings into a black worn out suitcase. She looks under her bed to find the teddy bear she received from her lover, on Valentine’s day, just about a week ago.
Norris, the lover, had told her to meet him at the bus station where they usually met. She got into the bus and from beneath the seat he pulled out a gift bag containing an assortment of chocolates, a teddy bear and lingerie.
Judith accepted the gift with the joy of a girl who had never received a gift from anyone, not even her parents.
“Now, this one's for me”, whispered Norris into Judith’s ears, pressing the piece of lace onto her laps; as she leaned in for a hug.
She is 15, and he is…30.
A month ago as Judith’s mother cleaned the house she discovered the doll and the remains of what was chocolate. She did the mathematics and waited in the kitchen for Judith to return from school.
Judith entered through the kitchen door only to find her mother seated by the kitchen table, tapping her leg in an anxious anticipation of Judith’s appearance.
On the table lay the teddy bear which stared at Judith as if it knew the exact events which were going to transpire; staring at her in an attempt to alarm her to run and never look back.
She was glad though, that on that table there was no trace of the lingerie that the old man had given her; lucky because she had done due diligence and hid the present under her bed.
“What is this?” asked Judith’s mother, already holding the doll and looking straight at Judith.
Judith was tempted to say that it was a teddy bear, but she knew her mother wanted to know where it came from and further, who exactly had gifted her.
“It’s from…Norris”, replied Judith in a nonchalant manner. She also was shocked by how she had not tried to feed her mother lies; she had calculated her mother’s stance and came to the conclusion that nothing she could have said would have convinced her mother that the expensive looking chocolates and teddy bear were not from Norris- or a man.
In moments that followed Judith screamed from the base of her skeletal structure, into her flesh and out of her mouth; her right eye socket hung from her brain, hanging lifelessly like a calf hangs on its mother's back, just after birth, before the umbilical cord snaps, disconnecting the mother and the child forever.
Judith’s mother had used a cooking wooden spoon to inflict corporal punishment on Judith.
Judith was rushed to the hospital where the eye was reattached. During that month her mother would visit her, bring her food and clothing, sit by the bedside, and in conversation, made sure never to apologize or show any remorse.
After that incident, Judith’s father filed for a divorce and left.
“You beat my child like an animal”, he said to his wife disappointed, but not in disbelief because deep down he had always known her to be capable of what she did, but he was shocked nonetheless.
[And now]
Just like her father, the fifteen-year-old is packing her clothes. She takes the teddy bear from under the bed and stuffs it into her suitcase.
She begins to cry at the thought of leaving without saying goodbye to her mother. The tears from the left eye flow easily, but from the injured eye, the tears seep from the bandage; leaving trails of slightly pink tears as her eye has not fully healed. She is to return to the hospital for a checkup and if lucky, the removal of the bandage but she is not thinking of that for now.
She begins to hurry with her packing, she sits on her suitcase and forces everything inside and then proceeds to closing the bag as she has come to terms with the fact that not every one of her cherished possessions will make it into the bag; she hurries as her mother is soon to return from the market, it is around 1900hrs. She knows this as it has been announced statically through the radio; she does not hear anything else that is being reported but the time, she hears clearly.
Norris told her they will meet by the bare ground surrounded by bushes, just a few kilometers from Judith’s house, and then together further proceed to Norris station where his bus was, and then from there go together to his house.
[23pm+]
Judith is trembling from the inside out. The police force the man sitting just adjacent to Judith to give his statement and confess.
“Please take me to the hospital”, pleads the paralyzed man as he holds his bleeding neck. The police have decided that he is not to receive any medical attention until they have received substantial information as to what has occurred.
Judith looks over at the man; she recognizes that he’s the one who had initiated the attack on her. His infant like wails and mourning are irritating her, and as if the walls can hear her thoughts; the man suddenly stops begging for mercy, and hangs his head by his shoulders and dies.
She notices this, ignores and looks over the room; she notices her reflection opposite her. Her eye has been bleeding through her bandage, leaving crimson stains. She however, does not feel any pain, but regrets that this attack has pulled her eye’s recovery miles back.
Judith is surprisingly too calm but she keeps wondering about how she will get charged. Unbeknownst to her the police have been looking for the men, so all the interrogation going on is just a formality otherwise the police have already reached a verdict.
Norris is in the interrogation room giving his statement. He does not believe his reaction during the whole ordeal, the fear that had paralyzed him and how he could not defend Judith. After a while he comes out and sits next to Judith. He is unable to utter a single word to her but instead just stares at her for some moments, and then the bare space in front of him- he is ashamed.
The car driver gives his encounter:
“I just saw men running from the bush”, he says.
“How many were they?” asked the policeman whose eyes bulged out at each question.
“Maybe two or three, I don’t remember. I did not see them coming, it all happened quickly”, he said. He too is in shock, cannot stop smoking cigarettes, wonders if he would be jailed for manslaughter; leaving his pregnant wife alone, his fate weighs heavy on him, but no amount of nicotine seems to turn back the hands of time.
[22:15+]
As if possessed by a demon or a supernatural force of some sort, Judith runs back to the group of men, picks up a rock, and hits one on the back of his neck. The man falls down letting out a deep mourn. Before the other men register what is going on, she lashes on the second one, hitting him -with the same now bloody rock- and violating his side of the face, leaving him deaf and whimpering on the ground.
Judith, further picks up the soiled semen she could still see on the ground, goes to the first man she had attacked, who now lays paralyzed and helpless, and forcefully feeds him the semen. On seeing this, the deaf man, like an infant, begins crawling away, only to be met by a violent kick to the head; he dies.
As this is happening, Norris stands still and shocked to do anything, it isn’t until they hear a heavy thud and the screeching of the wheels of a car being forced to stop; the third man has been hit by the car. Judith, Norris and the car driver watch the man cough out his last breath.
Within minutes, people are now surrounding the scene and the police have been called.
[21hrs]
Norris watches as the men take turns in raping Judith. She wails out for help, grabs soil by her sides and tries throwing it into her perpetrator’s eyes, but he dodges and laughs, and continues rapturing her insides. She naturally continues to struggle against the men, but as they all take their turns; she feels her energy failing her, her womb turns numb but she still feels the flesh of her vagina burn. She feels waves of pins-and-needle-like sensations pulsating from her legs, right up to her torso.
Norris stands as he does not know exactly what to do, he does not even believe that this is happening; but one thing is for sure, with the beastly atmosphere that the group of men have brought with them; any signs of struggle and resistance would prove to be fatal.
“Do you want?”, he asked the last one who had not taken his turn.
“Not today”, he responds with slight disgust on his face.
The last man zips his trousers and goes over to the man who had first raped Judith-the boss- and asks, “What do we do with them now?”.
The boss looks at Judith who now has stood up and is crying by Norris.
“HEY. START WALKING AND DON’T LOOK BACK!”, said one of the men threateningly.
Norris and Judith are now walking slowly away but Judith can still hear the voices of the men, as they are still discussing if they should finish them off. That is when Judith looks back, picks a rock and charges towards the men.
[20:40]
Judith is put off by Norris’ impatience, but she is used to this.
“Just wait until we get to your place”, she reiterates. He is clearly not having a no for an answer.
In that bare path, they slightly walk to the bushy area by the side until they find a suitable spot.
Despite Judith’s discomfort, Norris proceeds to lay her on the grass and in no time, begins thrusting her as she tries to conceal her moans.
“I missed you”, he says.
After some time has passed the two hear voices which sound like men laughing. The noises grow louder and louder as they approach.
“What do we have here?”, asks one of the menacingly looking of the six men. His fellow men begin to laugh, they let out laughs that reverberate with a threatening undertone; like hyenas, their hunger and lack of mercy is palpable.
Judith and Norris are alarmed by the fact that even after they have dressed themselves and stood up to go, the men do not seem to want to continue with their journey; they are now surrounded, there in the bush by the side of the alley.
[19:30]
Just as she finishes taking her suitcase and purse from her room, Judith hears the screeching of the kitchen door; her mother has returned from the market.
Her mother has not yet noticed the suitcase behind the kitchen door. She calls for Judith to help her bring her goods from outside into the house.
Judith comes out dressed up; too dressed up considering the time of the day.
“You look…where are you coming from?”, asks Judith’s mother, not waiting for the answer and proceeds to take her items from outside.
“Good evening”, Judith says, ignoring her mother’s rhetorical question as it is meant more as a remark.
Judith’s mother throws herself on the kitchen chair, letting out a huge sigh that spelt out her exhaustion. Judith closes the door, and for the first time her mother comes face to face with the suitcase.
“I am leaving”, said Judith in a matter-of-fact manner.
Judith’s mother gets up and begins shouting.
“Where to?”, she asks dramatically whilst getting up to shake Judith by her shoulders.
“You mean to leave me just like your father did?”, she hysterically drops herself onto the ground. When she notices that Judith is not going to give her much attention, she continues shouting and insulting her-louder and infant-like.
“That Norris of yours will not make you happy”, Judith’s mother retorts with her fingers crossed as she looks at Judith approaching the gate.
Judith bangs the gate on her way out, thinking how she should have hurried to avoid her mother’s confrontation.
She begins to walk, ignoring her neighbor’s stares, glad that the sun has already set and that they couldn’t see her clearly. She tries not to worry too much about the fact that after a few kilometers, she has to turn and walk through the alley where most girls are known to disappear. Her mind is put to rest as Norris told her the previous day that he will meet her halfway through. Without any means of communication, Judith has to trust in his word.
[23:45 hrs]
Judith is called into the interrogation room.
[Present]
“Yes, these things do happen. Women get raped every day in the most horrendous ways”, says Judith lighting a cigarette.
The younger woman stares at Judith, not sure what to say to her.
“I’m really sorry”, the younger girl says, fully aware that it is just a plaster on a broken bone. “May I have a cigarette”, she asks.
The two sit and smoke in silence until Judith closes her left eye, raises her head to look at the lit chandelier that hangs from the ceiling, and holds it like that for some time and says:
“That’s why I can’t see with my right eye.”
la fin/>
She sits on her tattered couch watching the tv, with another girl way younger than her. The movie on the TV has clearly plunged the older woman into a great ordeal of discomfort.
Maybe I should tell her that the blood is fake and that the sound effects were probably generated from watermelons crashing against each other- the younger girl thinks.
The older lady, Judith, continues to jerk her body in synchrony with the sound from the surround system, sinking her body into the couch, all the while clenching her facial muscles like an infant being fed a spoonful of cough syrup.
The younger girl decides to ignore Judith’s hysterics as she always reacts this way to movies of a similar nature.
After a while, the movie ends and as the younger girl sits, slowly getting hypnotized by the credits that run across the TV-screen, Judith disrupts the silence.
“What do you think you would do in a situation like that?”, she asks.
The younger girl shakes her head and chuckles, “I think I would just freeze”.
Judith: “You think you would just freeze…” she says lifelessly, and in contemplation.
<la commencement
[About 30 years ago]
Judith is stuffing her belongings into a black worn out suitcase. She looks under her bed to find the teddy bear she received from her lover, on Valentine’s day, just about a week ago.
Norris, the lover, had told her to meet him at the bus station where they usually met. She got into the bus and from beneath the seat he pulled out a gift bag containing an assortment of chocolates, a teddy bear and lingerie.
Judith accepted the gift with the joy of a girl who had never received a gift from anyone, not even her parents.
“Now, this one's for me”, whispered Norris into Judith’s ears, pressing the piece of lace onto her laps; as she leaned in for a hug.
She is 15, and he is…30.
A month ago as Judith’s mother cleaned the house she discovered the doll and the remains of what was chocolate. She did the mathematics and waited in the kitchen for Judith to return from school.
Judith entered through the kitchen door only to find her mother seated by the kitchen table, tapping her leg in an anxious anticipation of Judith’s appearance.
On the table lay the teddy bear which stared at Judith as if it knew the exact events which were going to transpire; staring at her in an attempt to alarm her to run and never look back.
She was glad though, that on that table there was no trace of the lingerie that the old man had given her; lucky because she had done due diligence and hid the present under her bed.
“What is this?” asked Judith’s mother, already holding the doll and looking straight at Judith.
Judith was tempted to say that it was a teddy bear, but she knew her mother wanted to know where it came from and further, who exactly had gifted her.
“It’s from…Norris”, replied Judith in a nonchalant manner. She also was shocked by how she had not tried to feed her mother lies; she had calculated her mother’s stance and came to the conclusion that nothing she could have said would have convinced her mother that the expensive looking chocolates and teddy bear were not from Norris- or a man.
In moments that followed Judith screamed from the base of her skeletal structure, into her flesh and out of her mouth; her right eye socket hung from her brain, hanging lifelessly like a calf hangs on its mother's back, just after birth, before the umbilical cord snaps, disconnecting the mother and the child forever.
Judith’s mother had used a cooking wooden spoon to inflict corporal punishment on Judith.
Judith was rushed to the hospital where the eye was reattached. During that month her mother would visit her, bring her food and clothing, sit by the bedside, and in conversation, made sure never to apologize or show any remorse.
After that incident, Judith’s father filed for a divorce and left.
“You beat my child like an animal”, he said to his wife disappointed, but not in disbelief because deep down he had always known her to be capable of what she did, but he was shocked nonetheless.
[And now]
Just like her father, the fifteen-year-old is packing her clothes. She takes the teddy bear from under the bed and stuffs it into her suitcase.
She begins to cry at the thought of leaving without saying goodbye to her mother. The tears from the left eye flow easily, but from the injured eye, the tears seep from the bandage; leaving trails of slightly pink tears as her eye has not fully healed. She is to return to the hospital for a checkup and if lucky, the removal of the bandage but she is not thinking of that for now.
She begins to hurry with her packing, she sits on her suitcase and forces everything inside and then proceeds to closing the bag as she has come to terms with the fact that not every one of her cherished possessions will make it into the bag; she hurries as her mother is soon to return from the market, it is around 1900hrs. She knows this as it has been announced statically through the radio; she does not hear anything else that is being reported but the time, she hears clearly.
Norris told her they will meet by the bare ground surrounded by bushes, just a few kilometers from Judith’s house, and then together further proceed to Norris station where his bus was, and then from there go together to his house.
[23pm+]
Judith is trembling from the inside out. The police force the man sitting just adjacent to Judith to give his statement and confess.
“Please take me to the hospital”, pleads the paralyzed man as he holds his bleeding neck. The police have decided that he is not to receive any medical attention until they have received substantial information as to what has occurred.
Judith looks over at the man; she recognizes that he’s the one who had initiated the attack on her. His infant like wails and mourning are irritating her, and as if the walls can hear her thoughts; the man suddenly stops begging for mercy, and hangs his head by his shoulders and dies.
She notices this, ignores and looks over the room; she notices her reflection opposite her. Her eye has been bleeding through her bandage, leaving crimson stains. She however, does not feel any pain, but regrets that this attack has pulled her eye’s recovery miles back.
Judith is surprisingly too calm but she keeps wondering about how she will get charged. Unbeknownst to her the police have been looking for the men, so all the interrogation going on is just a formality otherwise the police have already reached a verdict.
Norris is in the interrogation room giving his statement. He does not believe his reaction during the whole ordeal, the fear that had paralyzed him and how he could not defend Judith. After a while he comes out and sits next to Judith. He is unable to utter a single word to her but instead just stares at her for some moments, and then the bare space in front of him- he is ashamed.
The car driver gives his encounter:
“I just saw men running from the bush”, he says.
“How many were they?” asked the policeman whose eyes bulged out at each question.
“Maybe two or three, I don’t remember. I did not see them coming, it all happened quickly”, he said. He too is in shock, cannot stop smoking cigarettes, wonders if he would be jailed for manslaughter; leaving his pregnant wife alone, his fate weighs heavy on him, but no amount of nicotine seems to turn back the hands of time.
[22:15+]
As if possessed by a demon or a supernatural force of some sort, Judith runs back to the group of men, picks up a rock, and hits one on the back of his neck. The man falls down letting out a deep mourn. Before the other men register what is going on, she lashes on the second one, hitting him -with the same now bloody rock- and violating his side of the face, leaving him deaf and whimpering on the ground.
Judith, further picks up the soiled semen she could still see on the ground, goes to the first man she had attacked, who now lays paralyzed and helpless, and forcefully feeds him the semen. On seeing this, the deaf man, like an infant, begins crawling away, only to be met by a violent kick to the head; he dies.
As this is happening, Norris stands still and shocked to do anything, it isn’t until they hear a heavy thud and the screeching of the wheels of a car being forced to stop; the third man has been hit by the car. Judith, Norris and the car driver watch the man cough out his last breath.
Within minutes, people are now surrounding the scene and the police have been called.
[21hrs]
Norris watches as the men take turns in raping Judith. She wails out for help, grabs soil by her sides and tries throwing it into her perpetrator’s eyes, but he dodges and laughs, and continues rapturing her insides. She naturally continues to struggle against the men, but as they all take their turns; she feels her energy failing her, her womb turns numb but she still feels the flesh of her vagina burn. She feels waves of pins-and-needle-like sensations pulsating from her legs, right up to her torso.
Norris stands as he does not know exactly what to do, he does not even believe that this is happening; but one thing is for sure, with the beastly atmosphere that the group of men have brought with them; any signs of struggle and resistance would prove to be fatal.
“Do you want?”, he asked the last one who had not taken his turn.
“Not today”, he responds with slight disgust on his face.
The last man zips his trousers and goes over to the man who had first raped Judith-the boss- and asks, “What do we do with them now?”.
The boss looks at Judith who now has stood up and is crying by Norris.
“HEY. START WALKING AND DON’T LOOK BACK!”, said one of the men threateningly.
Norris and Judith are now walking slowly away but Judith can still hear the voices of the men, as they are still discussing if they should finish them off. That is when Judith looks back, picks a rock and charges towards the men.
[20:40]
Judith is put off by Norris’ impatience, but she is used to this.
“Just wait until we get to your place”, she reiterates. He is clearly not having a no for an answer.
In that bare path, they slightly walk to the bushy area by the side until they find a suitable spot.
Despite Judith’s discomfort, Norris proceeds to lay her on the grass and in no time, begins thrusting her as she tries to conceal her moans.
“I missed you”, he says.
After some time has passed the two hear voices which sound like men laughing. The noises grow louder and louder as they approach.
“What do we have here?”, asks one of the menacingly looking of the six men. His fellow men begin to laugh, they let out laughs that reverberate with a threatening undertone; like hyenas, their hunger and lack of mercy is palpable.
Judith and Norris are alarmed by the fact that even after they have dressed themselves and stood up to go, the men do not seem to want to continue with their journey; they are now surrounded, there in the bush by the side of the alley.
[19:30]
Just as she finishes taking her suitcase and purse from her room, Judith hears the screeching of the kitchen door; her mother has returned from the market.
Her mother has not yet noticed the suitcase behind the kitchen door. She calls for Judith to help her bring her goods from outside into the house.
Judith comes out dressed up; too dressed up considering the time of the day.
“You look…where are you coming from?”, asks Judith’s mother, not waiting for the answer and proceeds to take her items from outside.
“Good evening”, Judith says, ignoring her mother’s rhetorical question as it is meant more as a remark.
Judith’s mother throws herself on the kitchen chair, letting out a huge sigh that spelt out her exhaustion. Judith closes the door, and for the first time her mother comes face to face with the suitcase.
“I am leaving”, said Judith in a matter-of-fact manner.
Judith’s mother gets up and begins shouting.
“Where to?”, she asks dramatically whilst getting up to shake Judith by her shoulders.
“You mean to leave me just like your father did?”, she hysterically drops herself onto the ground. When she notices that Judith is not going to give her much attention, she continues shouting and insulting her-louder and infant-like.
“That Norris of yours will not make you happy”, Judith’s mother retorts with her fingers crossed as she looks at Judith approaching the gate.
Judith bangs the gate on her way out, thinking how she should have hurried to avoid her mother’s confrontation.
She begins to walk, ignoring her neighbor’s stares, glad that the sun has already set and that they couldn’t see her clearly. She tries not to worry too much about the fact that after a few kilometers, she has to turn and walk through the alley where most girls are known to disappear. Her mind is put to rest as Norris told her the previous day that he will meet her halfway through. Without any means of communication, Judith has to trust in his word.
[23:45 hrs]
Judith is called into the interrogation room.
[Present]
“Yes, these things do happen. Women get raped every day in the most horrendous ways”, says Judith lighting a cigarette.
The younger woman stares at Judith, not sure what to say to her.
“I’m really sorry”, the younger girl says, fully aware that it is just a plaster on a broken bone. “May I have a cigarette”, she asks.
The two sit and smoke in silence until Judith closes her left eye, raises her head to look at the lit chandelier that hangs from the ceiling, and holds it like that for some time and says:
“That’s why I can’t see with my right eye.”
la fin/>
BIO:
Lucille Sambo is a 23-year-old storyteller and wanderer. She uses her words to connect with people; to make them feel like they are not alone in this world.
Born and raised in Zimbabwe, but currently working in Germany, Lucille dreams to explore the Film industry.
She has a curious mind and is always on the lookout for new artists for possible collaboration.
Lucille Sambo is a 23-year-old storyteller and wanderer. She uses her words to connect with people; to make them feel like they are not alone in this world.
Born and raised in Zimbabwe, but currently working in Germany, Lucille dreams to explore the Film industry.
She has a curious mind and is always on the lookout for new artists for possible collaboration.
